“A few months back, I was asked to participate in a debate on the topic of whether men should have to pay on dates. (I was “the feminist.”) It turned out that the male debater and I didn’t really disagree much on that topic. I said that, generally, whoever asks the other person out pays for that date, and then at some point couples generally transition into sharing costs in whatever way works for them. He was actually pretty happy to pay for first dates; he just wanted women to say thank you and to not use him. I had no problem with that.
I think he said that women should offer to pay half, knowing they’ll probably be turned down. I said, well, sometimes — but what if the other person invited you someplace really expensive? What if you agreed to a date with the guy and he spent an hour saying crazy racist shit to you and you felt like you couldn’t escape? This is what led to our real disagreement.
The male debater felt strongly that if a woman wasn’t interested in a second date, she should say so on the spot. If the man says, “Let’s do this again sometime,” the woman shouldn’t say, “Sure, great,” and then back out later. I said that that was a nice ideal, but that he should keep in mind that most women spent most of their lives living in low-level fear of physical aggression from men. I think about avoiding rape (or other violence) every time I walk home from the subway, every time there’s an unexpected knock at the door, and certainly every time I piss off an unhinged man. So, if I were on a date with a man who I felt was unbalanced, creepy, overly aggressive, or possibly violent, and he asked if I wanted to “do this again sometime,” I would say whatever I felt would avoid conflict. And then I would leave, wait awhile, and hope that letting him down politely a few days later would avoid his finding me and turning my skin into an overcoat.
The male debater was furious that I had even brought this up. He felt that the threat of violence against women was irrelevant, and that I was playing some kind of “rape card” as a debate trick. He got angrier and angrier as we argued. I also got angrier and angrier, although I worked hard to keep speaking in a calm and considered way. He was shouting and cutting me off when I tried to speak. I pointed out that the debater himself was displaying exactly the sort of behavior that would make me very uncomfortable on a date. THAT made him livid.
He then called me “passive-aggressive.”
I was genuinely taken aback. “Actually,” I said, “I call this ‘behaving myself.’” It’s a lot of work to stay calm when you’re just as furious as the other person, and that other person is shouting at you. I felt that I was acting like a grownup — at some emotional cost to myself — and I wanted credit, not insults, for being able to speak in a normal tone of voice when I was having to explain things like, “We can’t tell who the rapists are before they turn violent, so sometimes we have to be cautious with men who do not intend to harm us.””—Bullish Life: When Men Get Too Emotional To Have A Rational Argument (via albinwonderland)
It seems like a lot of people aren’t aware of Crystal’s troubled production. They assume that it has the same budget, sponsoring, and support that the 90s anime did. On the posts where I’ve elaborated that Crystal is an ONA (original net animation) that has a much lower budget as a consequence of not airing on TV (depriving it of sponsors), many people usually express their surprise, saying that they had no idea what the real situation was.
Straight White Guys:It's not racist. The reason why most characters are straight white guys is it's a business. They just want to do what makes the most money. No one's being racist or sexist. It's just smart business.
Straight White Guys:Having a Black Captain America or Pakistani Ms. Marvel or female Thor is PANDERING. All they're trying to do is get MONEY from you. It's just a marketing ploy! This is horrible!
Went rifling through the basement looking for brocade. Came out with curtains, a whole bunch of muslin, this really nice purple, some scraps of heart fabric that I have the rest of, a Charmander tattoo, the only family heirloom I own (a bracelet with the name of my birth town), and my first Miwako costume.
It’s time to flush your stereotypes down the drain.
Congratulations, gamer girls—you’re officially at the top of the food chain when it comes to games. A new study released by the Entertainment Software Association has revealed that adult women now occupy the largest demographic in the gaming industry. Women over 18 made up a whopping 36 percent of the gaming population, followed by adult men at 35 percent.
daily reminder that the Klingons killed their gods because the gods were more trouble than they were worth.
daily reminder that the Klingon marriage vows are gender-neutral and all about how joining together makes two hearts stronger.
daily reminder that, during TOS, the Klingons were dealing not just with the ever-present internal conflict between their Emperor and the High Council, but also with the external pressure from the Federation’s more successful expansion and the pressure of an as-yet-uncured genetic virus that threatened their very society.
daily reminder that Klingons. (｡♥‿♥｡)
Huh, go Klingons.
Addendums, because Klingons are my favorite Star Trek race and I adore them:
Klingon mating rituals consist of the dominance of the woman over the man, instead of the other way around. It is the man’s responsibility to be the romantic and the woman’s responsibility to show physical, sexual dominance.
Despite being viewed as brutal warriors, Klingons have a thriving arts culture and greatly enjoy the Klingon language translations of Shakespeare. They love opera and the dramatic performance arts.
They value honor so much that during breaks in battle during civil war, they would eat and drink with each other peaceably before returning to combat the next day.
If a Klingon dies and honorable death, their family and friends throw a rip-roaring party with fights and booze and music in their memory, because there is nothing better to a Klingon than to die for an honorable cause.
Even if they don’t die honorably, if a friend of family member makes a personal sacrifice for the honor of that person then they can still have their honor restored after death so that the dishonor may not pass through the family line.
The martial arts style of the Klingons is an actual martial arts style invented by a real master of tai chi and it is still studied by martial artists and Trekkies alike. Any attack on an unarmed or weak opponent, regardless of the reason, is seen as a huge dishonor.